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inkcanvasFandom: Naruto
Characters: Inuzuka Kiba/Hyuuga Hanabi
Rating/Status: PG-13 / 799 words, WIP
Chapter: 2 of ?, In Death the Sun Shines
Timeline: Undefined future, no spoilers
Summary: In Team 8, there were certain things you simply don't speak of. Perhaps it was because of this that he never really knew her at all.
Author's Notes: Here be the next part of "The Paradigm of Understanding" - ah, goodness, the title is such a mouthful. I suspect the next part will be a while solely because I'm busy with work, and anything I'm posting these days were really written last month while traveling anyway...
Part 1
The Paradigm of Understanding
by Téa P.
Part 2: In Death the Sun Shines
I was born dead, and maybe you're right to say I'm heartless.
--
It was a bright morning, sunny and with just the right touch of breeze to make the autumn leaves swirl on the ground. Her favorite kind, Hinata once confessed as Team 8 broke for lunch in the middle of training. Shyly, she had said it was the kind of day that made her think everything was going to be okay.
The service began a little after eight o'clock, under the warmth of the sun and the cool of the wind. None of the Hyuuga were present at the funeral, and if anyone had wondered why, no one dared voice it.
--
They told him her body wasn't really there, that it was only a marker for the village to honor her services as a shinobi of the Leaf. The body held too many secrets, they said, and the Hyuuga had taken her the moment she was brought in through the gates covered in a sheet.
"Is she finally important to you now?" he had shouted as they took her away, none of them giving him any indication that they had heard him or even cared for his words.
--
He didn't have to turn around to know she was there. He recognized her scent, and it almost surprised him to realize that he could do so with such ease. He hadn't thought he knew how she really smelled like. It reminded him of Konoha's forest after the break of a storm- strong, calming. And it angered him somehow.
The sun hung low on the horizon, and everyone had already long gone. He wasn't sure why he was still there by the empty grave, but he couldn't bring himself to leave.
"You killed her," he accused, silent desperate sobs shaking his entire form. "You all killed her."
She said nothing for a long time, and the only sound around them was the rustling of leaves against the wind. Until finally, when the sun was half-swallowed by the distant mountains, she asked, almost tenderly, "Do you think the sun can shine in hell?"
He tensed immediately from all the different implications her question brought, and he turned around in spite of himself, to look at her. But her face showed nothing, empty and devoid of any emotions he could draw upon. Her gaze, reserved only for the orange glow of the sleeping sun, merely told him she was Hyuuga. Then she turned her eyes to him, languidly yet intently.
"Everybody has a destiny, Kiba."
It was the first time she had said his name, and he shivered involuntarily in the cold wind. An angry tear escaped down the side of his face, but he refused to be ashamed of his grief.
"Are you trying to say it was Hinata's destiny to die?"
She regarded him silently, and he imagined he saw pity. "Dying isn't a destiny. It's something that eventually happens to everyone."
Her attention shifted, for a moment, to the grave marker behind him. The loose sleeves draping her arms whipped against the wind, and he noticed then, the traditional Hyuuga garbs that wrapped around her slender frame. It occurred to him all at once, why none of the Hyuuga came to the funeral. They held the ceremony, even as the village mourned, and he lashed out instantly and with such sudden ferocity that her slightly-widened eyes were the only indication of her awareness.
He gripped her shoulder almost wildly, the fabric of her sleeve catching and giving under his claws. "You'll never," he spoke, low and painfully, "you'll never take her place."
She tilted her head a little so that one of her pale eyes could meet his in their close proximity, and under different circumstances, it would've felt almost intimate. A mirthless smile graced her lips fleetingly, and she replied in a tone that seemed to mock him, "You say it as though you're afraid I would, as though I could."
He stared even as she laughed, and the harsh sound chilled him. "I am heiress, Kiba."
There was something in the way she looked right then that reminded him of the words Hinata uttered as her life slipped away. Even in death, she apologized, and for reasons he couldn't explain, he chose to blame Hanabi.
"Did you know, Kiba, there are worse fates than death?" she asked, as though from a bridge too far for him to reach. Then she looked past him, down at the grave. "She died a long time ago, because the sun, you see, never shines in hell."
She left him alone at those words as he pressed a fisted hand against the flow of tears that refused to stop.
And he thought, he could've forgiven her, if she only cried.
-end part 2
Notes: I never really thought I'd say this about any of my "ongoing" stories, but I want to clear up all expectations early on. This story isn't meant to be very plot-driven (I hope I didn't just kill my own fic with that statement), which means certain things will never be elaborated on. Rather, it's the kind that's meant to be felt. If I'm even a little successful at doing that, then I think I shall be satisfied!
Characters: Inuzuka Kiba/Hyuuga Hanabi
Rating/Status: PG-13 / 799 words, WIP
Chapter: 2 of ?, In Death the Sun Shines
Timeline: Undefined future, no spoilers
Summary: In Team 8, there were certain things you simply don't speak of. Perhaps it was because of this that he never really knew her at all.
Author's Notes: Here be the next part of "The Paradigm of Understanding" - ah, goodness, the title is such a mouthful. I suspect the next part will be a while solely because I'm busy with work, and anything I'm posting these days were really written last month while traveling anyway...
Part 1
by Téa P.
Part 2: In Death the Sun Shines
I was born dead, and maybe you're right to say I'm heartless.
--
It was a bright morning, sunny and with just the right touch of breeze to make the autumn leaves swirl on the ground. Her favorite kind, Hinata once confessed as Team 8 broke for lunch in the middle of training. Shyly, she had said it was the kind of day that made her think everything was going to be okay.
The service began a little after eight o'clock, under the warmth of the sun and the cool of the wind. None of the Hyuuga were present at the funeral, and if anyone had wondered why, no one dared voice it.
They told him her body wasn't really there, that it was only a marker for the village to honor her services as a shinobi of the Leaf. The body held too many secrets, they said, and the Hyuuga had taken her the moment she was brought in through the gates covered in a sheet.
"Is she finally important to you now?" he had shouted as they took her away, none of them giving him any indication that they had heard him or even cared for his words.
He didn't have to turn around to know she was there. He recognized her scent, and it almost surprised him to realize that he could do so with such ease. He hadn't thought he knew how she really smelled like. It reminded him of Konoha's forest after the break of a storm- strong, calming. And it angered him somehow.
The sun hung low on the horizon, and everyone had already long gone. He wasn't sure why he was still there by the empty grave, but he couldn't bring himself to leave.
"You killed her," he accused, silent desperate sobs shaking his entire form. "You all killed her."
She said nothing for a long time, and the only sound around them was the rustling of leaves against the wind. Until finally, when the sun was half-swallowed by the distant mountains, she asked, almost tenderly, "Do you think the sun can shine in hell?"
He tensed immediately from all the different implications her question brought, and he turned around in spite of himself, to look at her. But her face showed nothing, empty and devoid of any emotions he could draw upon. Her gaze, reserved only for the orange glow of the sleeping sun, merely told him she was Hyuuga. Then she turned her eyes to him, languidly yet intently.
"Everybody has a destiny, Kiba."
It was the first time she had said his name, and he shivered involuntarily in the cold wind. An angry tear escaped down the side of his face, but he refused to be ashamed of his grief.
"Are you trying to say it was Hinata's destiny to die?"
She regarded him silently, and he imagined he saw pity. "Dying isn't a destiny. It's something that eventually happens to everyone."
Her attention shifted, for a moment, to the grave marker behind him. The loose sleeves draping her arms whipped against the wind, and he noticed then, the traditional Hyuuga garbs that wrapped around her slender frame. It occurred to him all at once, why none of the Hyuuga came to the funeral. They held the ceremony, even as the village mourned, and he lashed out instantly and with such sudden ferocity that her slightly-widened eyes were the only indication of her awareness.
He gripped her shoulder almost wildly, the fabric of her sleeve catching and giving under his claws. "You'll never," he spoke, low and painfully, "you'll never take her place."
She tilted her head a little so that one of her pale eyes could meet his in their close proximity, and under different circumstances, it would've felt almost intimate. A mirthless smile graced her lips fleetingly, and she replied in a tone that seemed to mock him, "You say it as though you're afraid I would, as though I could."
He stared even as she laughed, and the harsh sound chilled him. "I am heiress, Kiba."
There was something in the way she looked right then that reminded him of the words Hinata uttered as her life slipped away. Even in death, she apologized, and for reasons he couldn't explain, he chose to blame Hanabi.
"Did you know, Kiba, there are worse fates than death?" she asked, as though from a bridge too far for him to reach. Then she looked past him, down at the grave. "She died a long time ago, because the sun, you see, never shines in hell."
She left him alone at those words as he pressed a fisted hand against the flow of tears that refused to stop.
And he thought, he could've forgiven her, if she only cried.
-end part 2
Notes: I never really thought I'd say this about any of my "ongoing" stories, but I want to clear up all expectations early on. This story isn't meant to be very plot-driven (I hope I didn't just kill my own fic with that statement), which means certain things will never be elaborated on. Rather, it's the kind that's meant to be felt. If I'm even a little successful at doing that, then I think I shall be satisfied!
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More reviewing...
Date: June 14th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)The idea that you've created... with living in Hell (I assume you were referring to the Hyuuga life) is very curious because I independently also came up with a VERY similar line.
Hmmm, I guess I should go back and change mine. Damn, 'cause I really liked it too... I references Dante's Inferno and everything! Oh well, I guess great minds really DO think alike, eh?
Oh, and just one, teeny, tiny, little bit of CC
He hadn't thought he knew how she really smelled like.
I think that the 'how' in this should be 'what'.
Also, I think the verb tense agreement may need a little look-see. I'm not sure. I'm really not the expert on that sort of thing. But it just sounded a little awkward to me. Maybe something like:
He didn't think he knew what she really smelled like
He hadn't thought he known what she really smelled like
No, both of those sad bad too. Maybe just a little revision of that line. Other than that. I loved it all.
P.S. When you write, it makes me happy (hence the icon)
Re: More reviewing...
Date: June 15th, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC)AND thank you for the CC. I'm so appreciating it, especially since I don't work with a beta. It's nice to have someone point out where they think the fic could do better, etc. The whole "how" vs "what" in the smell was something I actually mulled over for a bit. I eventually settled with how because I didn't feel like she smelled like a "what" if that makes any sense at all. Sort of like the ways she smells like... and not that smells of one thing. AH dammit, I'm just confusing myself (and probably you) all over again. *stumped now*
As for the smelling sentence (doesn't that sound horrible), I definitely see your point there. It doesn't flow too smoothly. Hmm... I shall see if I can change it to something that works better. Thank you for pointing it out. :)
Finally, about the hell thing- you should totally keep your line if you really like it! That is, if you still want to. What I mean to say is, you certainly shouldn't let what I've written in my fic stop you. Besides, this fic can't possibly be the only one that uses the hell comparison with the Hyuuga life. And by the way, I'm still waiting (with great anticipation) to read your fics. :)
Anyhow, thank you again- for the review, CC, and just general comments. It's helped more than you know!
Re: More reviewing...
Date: June 15th, 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)