The run-ons didn't bother me. The only place I would have made changes was in the first paragraph since most of Sakura's complaints are independent thoughts/clauses. But it isn't a necessary change.
It's interesting how these little flashfics tend to hinge on either the opening or closing line (and sometimes both.)
I can be either one and oddly I didn't even think of Lee even though I know he was on that mission. It may have been that I just finished reading something else that had more Gai in it than Lee - or maybe I equate Gai with more obliviousness than Lee. *Shrugs* Either works and either is funny.
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Date: April 8th, 2007 01:55 am (UTC)It's interesting how these little flashfics tend to hinge on either the opening or closing line (and sometimes both.)
I can be either one and oddly I didn't even think of Lee even though I know he was on that mission. It may have been that I just finished reading something else that had more Gai in it than Lee - or maybe I equate Gai with more obliviousness than Lee. *Shrugs* Either works and either is funny.